Join for FREE | Take the Tour Lost Password?
[x]

deviantART

 

the castle of impossibility by ~originill:iconoriginill:





toxic lives impressed by sin
excuse my build i'm boxed to spin
like circles far around the moon
or better words that come too soon;
obnoxious is the gentleman
who bombed our lives with hydrogen.
in hailing smog for oxygen,
the unposessed implore again;
inert in our kinetic grin,
so generous, so genuine;
devils answer the loudest prayer;
forget the matter, sooth the sayer.
a chain link fence takes it over,
minds are washed out by their doners.
as a prisoner of gray october-
erosion's harder when i'm sober.
and blanket-peace was ripped and stained-
by employers who force their gain.
so while products ship across the waves,
cut me if i go insane cause impact is a patient game.
the flame is brighter than the moth.
someone has to haul the cross.
we're living large so what's the cost?
©2005-2009 ~originill
:iconoriginill:

Author's Comments

RAID

Comments


love 0 0 joy 0 0 wow 0 0 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:iconoriginill:
why thankya.

--
my enemy said to me, "love your enemy."
and i obeyed him and loved myself. gibran
:iconmargaretburning:
*snaps fingers in approval* NIIIIIIIICE.

--
Inside my brain,
a drain
is forming
from an acid hole.

RARR! Look at my gallery and friends!!
:iconmargaretburning:
*snaps fingers in approval* NIIIIIIIICE.

--
Inside my brain,
a drain
is forming
from an acid hole.

RARR! Look at my gallery and friends!!
:iconah-tran:
smooth sailing though wet wonderous cloud-drops

i'm diggin',
but really,
the end-stopped rhyme pairs tie shackles on its dancer's legs.

--
spinning through mounds of kicks and of knacks
:iconoriginill:
that's what she said

--
my enemy said to me, "love your enemy."
and i obeyed him and loved myself. gibran
:iconah-tran:
aye. well, she speaks it.
you might want to try unlocking those smooth legs of hers.

--
spinning through mounds of kicks and of knacks
:icondeftoned:
fluid.
diggin' the way you end the piece with three rhymes of the "oss/ost" sound, rather than the prior stanzas before it being only two. it carries out the question at hand with strong implementation.


way to preach what's out of reach.

amen, +fav to this.

--
Everyone smiles with that invisible gun to their head.
:iconoriginill:
thanks man. i never felt like this piece got the accord it had coming to it. so thanks a bunch for the convincing compliments.

--
my enemy said to me, "love your enemy."
and i obeyed him and loved myself. gibran

Details

October 14, 2005
1.0 KB
54.0 KB
498×640

Statistics

11
3 [who?]
92 (0 today)
3 (0 today)

Share

Link
Thumb

Site Map